Statement of intent – why am I doing this?

For the last few months I’ve been nibbling at my textiles coursework, and using my introduction to the world of textiles almost like a new prism to see the world though. I’ve been visiting exhibitions, making observations, getting back into the habit of drawing (pleasurable but painful – I’ll dedicate a future post to examining the difficulties) and starting to stitchdraw and to develop new understandings… but I haven’t posted or communicated, until now it’s been a fairly inward thing.

After a fairly chaotic (but happy) start to the year, I’ve been able to close off a few chapters, and with the usual end-of-year review, have a mild panic about the course. I have to finish in the first half of this year… THIS year. yikes. I’ve just broken up the coursework into component tasks and mapped them into my google calendar. I think I can do it….

To start, I’ll copy the first pages of my sketch/log book into the blog. The Textiles 1 – A Creative Approach Handbook states: “before you make a start, write a brief note in your learning log outlining what this course will do for you”… so here goes (slightly edited):

… so… not really sure. I enrolled almost on instinct, needing to do something to direct and to further draw out a creativity that has been dormant/squashed/suppressed for so long.

Statement of intent from log book

Statement of intent from log book

There’s a little bit of fear about reconnecting with this creative and instinctual me… the usual cliche. Working on a thesis was, strangely enough, the key to release me. Maybe not so strangely – spending quiet time inside one’s head is part of both the thesis process, and the creative drive. And the particular type of discipline required for thesis-writing, combined with a demanding job, combined with not being able to fit teaching in, totally stripped away any pretense at a creative outlet, and highlighted my need for it.

And why textiles? Again, not really sure, mainly obeying my subconscious… but there are memories of making, and of being a good maker. Associations with family, with women’s business, with sharing… and with memories of repression under a dictator and of freedom from this… connections to a mother’s love and a grandmother’s pride… associations with migration, with growing up, with flirting, with empowerment… lots of little things connected through sewing, embroidery, textiles, making. So I hope this course will provide some guidance and support and structure to my journeys and inquiries.

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